A Reflection on Friendships

Today is one of my best-friends’ birthday. She turned 17. We have been friends since grade 1, totalling more than 10 years of friendship. As I wrote my happy birthday text to her, I came to a realization. Or maybe this is more of a reflection. Friendships are just incredible.

Here’s a breakdown of the article:

1. What have I learned from my friend
2. Reflecting on the types of friends
3. And more, you’ll just have to keep reading : )

As I write my cheesy birthday text, my mind starts to wander to the many memories I have with my friend. You’ll notice that I’m talking a lot about the past. This is mainly because after middle school, we both chose to go to different high-schools. I’m sure you know that not all friendships stay intact through these 4 years. Well, mine has. In a way. I guess my friendship with her is one that is forever. I could go years not talking to her, but I know that if I dialed her number, she would pick up and we would pick up where we left off -AKA no awkward silence!

After reading this article, I encourage you take a moment and reflect on your friendships. Chances are, the ones you think about are ones that are very meaningful to you.

What I’ve learned

There are a few things that I have learned from this particular friendship that I am so grateful for.

1. Confidence
2. Being open to trying new things
3. Independence

Now, these 3 things were not “taught”. Instead, my friend encompassed all these characteristics, and I just observed.

It’s kind of insane, that just 1 person showed me at such a young age how to be confident. From the confidence in her voice to her posture, she showed me what self-confidence looked like. Imagine being in grade 3, and your best friend is the one that scares all the other kids because of how confident and independent she is. Yep that’s her.

I think as a high-schooler, friendships come and go, but it’s so important to the know the ones that form a symbiotic relationship. I know, throwback to biology class! ✨

But what makes a good friendship?

This one’s a toughy, but at the same time, it isn’t!

I’m sure you can list of several attributes that you wish to have in a friend. Mine were always: funny, kind, caring, and honest. But what if you looked beyond those adjectives?

A few months ago I did this activity in which I named 10–15 friends, and categorized them all. Sounds weird, but it was actually a really cool process.

Here’s how it worked

Essentially, you write down your friends name, and every time one friend hits a category you write a letter beside their name.

Here are the categories:

1. F = founder friends — are they collaborative, and productive?
2. R = reassuring friends — the ones you share your emotions and feelings with.
3. I=incidental friends —people you work with on projects in school or on sports teams.
4. E=entertaining friend — the friend that you have fun with.
5. N=networking friend — this is like the popular friend, they know everyone and they help you build your connections.
6. D= the “deep talk friend” — these are the friends that you share deep and meaningful conversations with. Whether it’s mindsets, mental health, or politics.
7. S=soul friend — you share values with them, and they help to grow.

Note: Each friend can have multiple categories! The ideas in this activity were presented to me by TKS.

What’s the point of doing this?

It’s quite simple really.

The goal here is to identify the types of friends you have. Which frienships make you a better person, or help you reach your goals? Which friendships are the ones that were forced because of school projects? Perhaps those aren’t really your friends, they’re rather peers or acquaintances.

The end result of my reflection acted as a reminder.

A reminder to continue to foster these friendships, because after all, the people around you are your support system. They are the ones who will make you laugh, learn, and grow.

I hope that after reading this article, you have identified some of the friendships that are close to your heart, and that you continue to make time for the ones that have stuck around so far.

Cheers to existing friendships and the ones to come! 💛

Kavya

Hi! Thanks for reading my article. If you would like to connect with me, don’t hesitate to email me at kavya.mm@gmail.com or follow me on LinkedIn.